Above Average
Above Average
Those are the words he used.
Sort of.
Well mostly he repeated them after I said them.
and kind of he laughed at me
(and also he thinks I am crazy for having run a 1/2 marathon, but I think it is is pretty much established now that I am crazy)
Scan results were reviewed last week and in our meeting with the oncologist I asked him all sorts of hard questions about treatment and longevity and such.
He can't ever really answer them.
I mean, bottom line is: Nobody knows how long I will live.
That is really what I want to know.
And he has no answer.
I get it.
He isn't actually in charge of keeping me alive.
I am.
In a way.
and I am trying really hard to stay alive.
I feel like that is pretty much all I am doing lately.
staying alive that is
I mean, heaven knows I am not keeping my house clean or serving others or creating artistic anything or making great meals, or being patient with my kids or keeping the budget or anything extra-ordinary but I am doing a pretty above average job of staying alive. (and not to brag but all my kids are still alive and I haven't strangled Eric yet, and that is pretty much a miracle given the fact that I am a often a tad bit irritable and tired and just not feeling 100%).
But honestly, I will take alive and the fact that my cancer isn't growing.
(at least it hasn't grown the last 3 months)
That is the real miracle.
2 years later, the cancer is still there but it isn't growing
and I am beating the average.
Above Average is a good place to be.
For now.
I will take it.
Those are the words he used.
Sort of.
Well mostly he repeated them after I said them.
and kind of he laughed at me
(and also he thinks I am crazy for having run a 1/2 marathon, but I think it is is pretty much established now that I am crazy)
Scan results were reviewed last week and in our meeting with the oncologist I asked him all sorts of hard questions about treatment and longevity and such.
He can't ever really answer them.
I mean, bottom line is: Nobody knows how long I will live.
That is really what I want to know.
And he has no answer.
I get it.
He isn't actually in charge of keeping me alive.
I am.
In a way.
and I am trying really hard to stay alive.
I feel like that is pretty much all I am doing lately.
staying alive that is
I mean, heaven knows I am not keeping my house clean or serving others or creating artistic anything or making great meals, or being patient with my kids or keeping the budget or anything extra-ordinary but I am doing a pretty above average job of staying alive. (and not to brag but all my kids are still alive and I haven't strangled Eric yet, and that is pretty much a miracle given the fact that I am a often a tad bit irritable and tired and just not feeling 100%).
But honestly, I will take alive and the fact that my cancer isn't growing.
(at least it hasn't grown the last 3 months)
That is the real miracle.
2 years later, the cancer is still there but it isn't growing
and I am beating the average.
Above Average is a good place to be.
For now.
I will take it.
You sell yourself short, sister!!!! You do SO MUCH, for SO MANY!!!! I’d say you are WAY ABOVE AVERAGE 💕💕
ReplyDeleteYou have always been well above average! Keep it up Amber, we love you!!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Thanks for serving me this month. With all you have going on, you took the time to help me out. Keep staying alive! You're doing much good, even if you don't always see it.
ReplyDeleteLove this great news and love YOU Amber Ostler Bell!!!! Cheers and Prayers and Temple Prayer Roll every week coming your way!!! So proud of you!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI love these great scan results. You, my friend, have never been average. You are truly amazing!!! ❤️
ReplyDeleteOh Amber, you have no idea what you do for others, I wish on your particularly hard days you could have a glimpse. You're real, you're faithful, you're hurting, you're happy, you're a survivor, you're you. Thank you for the updates, we need them!
ReplyDelete