Surviving the Teens.....

I was an awkward teenager once.  

Seriously. 

Just believe me. 

It was a hard time for me surviving the teens.  

I had bad hair

acne

and 

really interesting clothing choices.

(remember when sunflowers were all the rage, and hyper color shirts oh and doc martins and girbaud jeans....I didn't have any doc martins, or girbaud jeans but man I wanted both.  My parents told me we weren't made of money. I get it now.)

It is a time I do not ever really want to live again.  

and am dreading the girls getting to the "teen years" -- and having to stand back and just watch the awkwardness.  Maybe they won't be like me.  Maybe they will be like Eric....who according to his own self-assessment wasn't awkward, at all.  

You can compare yearbook pictures and come up with your own ideas about that. 

Anyway.  It looks like I am once again going to have to "survive the teens" -- just in a different way.  

I thought I was done with treatments at 12 rounds of this chemo, as that has been the plan from the beginning.  (And I looked pretty good for those 12 rounds if I do say so myself!) 

Let's take a walk down memory lane....such great memories. :) 

Treatment #1

Treatment #2

 Treatment #3

Treatment  #4

Treatment #5

 Treatment #6

Treatment #7

Treament #8

Treatment #9

Treatment  #10

Treatment #11

Post Treatment #12 

(I forgot to take a picture at the chemo center so snapped this one on my computer - real life, no sleep, feeling yucky, between puking sessions photo)

So 12 and done, right!!?? 

Nope. 

Doc thinks I am doing so well on this treatment, that he wants me to try and push for 6 more.  

that is: 

13

14

15

16

17

and

18

if you couldn't figure that out.  

I am going through the horrible, awkward teens again.  

Hopefully not with acne and bad hair, but really anything is possible.  I mean, my hair is not great right now and my skin leaves a lot to be desired and my clothing choices -- well, I would like to think I have come a long way since pegged jeans and oversized t shirts, so maybe that is my one saving grace. 

I have a feeling we have some hard times ahead still even if I survive the teens. 

Maybe for a long time.  

I would probably be grateful if the hard was over when the teen treatment numbers ended....but then the treatment just changes and some new/different chemo is pumped into my little body.  I think this struggle may last for a while, and I know I should be grateful for that, because it means I am alive, but man it is hard.  So hard.  I don't want to really live my life hooked up to a chemo pump and send my kids to family every other week when I can't function.  It is lame, but I am alive. 

For entertainment sake I should post a picture of each teen treatment with a corresponding picture or two of me at that age as an awkward teenager.  It would give us all something to look forward to! Better yet, how about all of you send me pictures of yourselves in the teen years and we can all reminisce and laugh and forget about cancer for a while.  

I have a scan on Tuesday next week and then results on Wednesday.  

I will be sure to update and let all of you know how things look.  

And I will just leave you with these yearbook pictures of Eric and myself as 17 year olds; circa the late 90's. 

Wow. 

It's a wonder I was single into my 30's right? 

I look better fighting cancer than I did in High School.  Just saying.