Thumbs up

So, if you have seen Facebook (which most likely you have since like 400 people have liked my post.  I don't think this many people have liked my post since I got married, or maybe since I announced I was pregnant with Tess) you saw that we got the results of the scan.....and we were so relieved.

I think my doctor knows me well.
We had been waiting for a little while at the oncologist office to meet with him and after a little bit, he just poked his head in the door (before seeing another patient I am sure) and gave me a big smile and a thumbs up.

It was the kindest gesture.
A thumbs up. 
And it meant the world to me.
He knew I was stressed and worried about this test. Obviously.
He knew that I would want to know as soon as possible what the results were.
He knew that I had been siting and anxiously waiting for a whole of 20 minutes.
He knew that a thumbs up would put my mind at ease.
That thumbs up means that I have more time.
That thumbs up means that all the struggle and throwing up and feeling nauseous and bloody noses and headaches and neuropathy and diarrhea and sleeplessness and ashiness and constant fatigue.  It's worth it.
That thumbs up means that my body is fighting.  Hard. 
That thumbs up means the girls can take a deep breath and celebrate.
That thumbs up means Eric has me for longer.
That thumbs up means the chemo is working.

That thumbs up means the tumors have shrunk by 10-15%

I know it doesn't seem like a lot when you put it in percentages, but they aren't growing which is fantastic.  The tumors in my lungs are smaller and the tumors in my abdomen (which lets be honest, I didn't even really know I had a few more in my abdomen, but apparently I do) he said have gone from 12cm to 11cm and 10 to 9cm.  The lymph nodes are not as enlarged and I haven't developed an allergic reaction to the medication yet, which are all great signs.  

That thumbs up means that all of the prayers offered in my behalf were heard and answered.
That thumbs up means that the faith exhibited by all of you (because heaven knows mine isn't too strong right now) has made all the difference.
That thumbs up was a small sign to me that I do have a purpose here on earth still, and it isn't my time to go yet.
That thumbs up brought tears of gratitude streaming down my face (and a really worried look from Tess, who cannot discern between tears of sadness and happiness).

I know that there might not be a thumbs up every time, but man we are going to celebrate this one and revel in the joy while it lasts -- which will be a little bit longer this time, because he is giving me a week off from chemo so I can have a little break and maybe even eat ice cream for more than one day without it hurting!  That my friends, is celebration enough.

So, maybe since all of you aren't here to celebrate with me -- you should just have a big bowl of ice cream yourselves.....and then it will be like one big party from our house to yours.

I'm giving you the thumbs up.