All the actual details

So far this blog has become more of a venting/emotional outlet for me than necessarily a way for all of you to know how I am doing physically.

If you are still reading and hoping for some actual information instead of reading about my fragile emotional state, today is your day.  And seriously, I can't believe you are still reading,m but here is a cute picture to keep you going......

On to business.

I had my post-op doctors appointment today.  For those of you who are not savvy on medical terms, like me, Post-op means after your operation.

It has been two VERY LONG weeks since they cut me open and basically messed around with my abdomen for two hours, removed what they wanted to and sewed me back up.

I feel like it could have been yesterday.

So here is the play by play you guys have been hoping for (I am sure my brother Shawn, who is a Doctor will find my descriptions humorous and sub-par, but hey I will always be better at teaching kids to read than him and so it is okay that he is a better doctor -- we all have our talents).

On Thursday, August 11th I checked in for surgery around 9 in the morning.  It had been a really tough night as they won't let you eat anything for 24 hours and then they had me do another bowel prep (this is where  you can stop reading if you are uncomfortable hearing about my body because I have pretty much no dignity left at this point -- I mean I do have colon cancer -- we are talking about my bowels A LOT around here) but back to the story -- bowel preps are of the devil.  Like the most horrible thing ever.  Talk about feeling like your insides are ripped out and vomiting and your stomach feeling like it is going to just get tied up in a knot and be that way for the rest of your life.
Oh, and don't let my "bowel prep" experience stop you from getting a colonoscopy -- I obviously had some serious issues going on that made it one zillion times worse.

Anyway, I checked in for surgery and was terrified.  I had never had a surgery before or really even been under anesthetic.  Nervous does not even begin to describe how I felt.

As we were waiting for the nurse to come check us in, the doors opened and there stood a friend of mine from the school PTO.....she was my nurse.  Tender Mercy.  I think so.  I started to cry and turned to tell Eric that I knew her and I knew it was an answer to my prayers for comfort.  She was able to calm me down, prep me -- get an IV and fluids and medication and such to be ready for the anesthetic.

From there things get a little bit hazy for me since they gave me something to clam me down.....I remember putting on a paper gown (hot stuff) and begging for a drink of water over and over, saying goodbye to Eric.....and being wheeled to the next prep room where they did an epidural for pain management -- which is funny because I was so nervous about having an epidural when I was pregnant, because of my scoliosis (crooked spine) and it was nothing.  I didn't even know they did epidurals for things other than delivering babies -- and let's be honest I wish I was having another baby but that is done for me now too -- then it all goes blank -- and it's probably a good thing that's all I recall.

Then, Dr. DeHass took over and  did his thing........

I woke up in recovery to learn that it had, in fact been a "successful" surgery and that Dr. DeHass had been able to remove the tumor (which had attached itself to one of my ovaries -- and was removed as well) and about 12" of my transverse colon that was being blocked by the originating tumor in my colon -- thus the colon cancer diagnosis.

Disgusting (yet interesting) picture below!
Here is what they removed from my little abdomen.

No wonder I could feel it in my body?
The ruler shows 6"

Not to brag, but I just think everyone, you guys should know that the surgeon told Eric that I was the most physically fit patient he had ever operated on (I mean I did just run a half marathon for cancer research -- remember I felt like garbage and was just grateful I didn't have cancer -- oh the irony) which I find shocking, because I don't feel like I'm in very great shape. The bad news is that while they had me all cut open they were able to see other spots of cancer throughout my abdomen, and on my liver (in addition to the spots confirmed by the pet scan on my lungs).

I recovered at the hospital (recovery at a hospital is hard but I had really great nurses) and felt pretty good okay on lots of pain killers.  Eric came every day and my parents brought the girls or came and saw me every day too.  So by Sunday I thought I was ready to come home. My parents had been here leading up to and the week of surgery and I just wanted to be home with the people I loved -- thinking it would be much easier.  I wasn't really ready and they didn't release me until Tuesday afternoon -- and even then it was probably pushing it.  

Here is the incision a few days after.
(oh and those are my ribs at the top not my chest -- keeping it PG here) 

Living the dream....hospital bed love.
I look drugged -- probably because I am. 

Coming home and recovering has been a pretty tough road.  I am now just over 2 weeks post-op and finally starting to feel a little human again.  And by "human" I mean that I am not laying on the bed in my underwear while my mom rubs my back and I cry and cry that it hurts.

I am able to walk around the block a couple of times a day and have even driven once or twice (not on pain medication of course).  It is such a far cry from what I am used to that it is all together discouraging sometimes but baby steps are being taken.

The surgeon did re-iterate that my body will take almost 2 months or more to get back to it's "old self" (minus the tumor and 12" of my colon).  My bowels (yep talking about poop again) are still all over the place and I am on a low fiber diet.  The girls think it is great that we are buying white bread for the first time in forever, but I am having a hard time not being able to eat salad or vegetables or most fruits or anything really good for you that takes digestive/colon power.

I do feel blessed that they were able to do the surgery first, before starting chemotherapy and that my body was stronger than it would have been after doing chemo.  Oh, and here is to celebrating the now 3 pounds I have gained back after losing close to 15 in the hospital.  Never thought seeing the numbers go up on the scale would be a victory.  It's a new normal people.  A new normal.